


Loyalty

by Valledorthedragon



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Clues were all there, Confessions, Emotional Hurt, Just before the dawn, M/M, The Things Left Unsaid, Wordplay, but also not really because it’s too painful to say out loud, connecting the dots, sadfic, the plot the creators were too coward to include
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24930205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valledorthedragon/pseuds/Valledorthedragon
Summary: “I... I’m loyal to you... You know that?”In their last moments together before the dawn, there existed a silence.Of things that had to be heard but also must never be said.In another world, in another life... perhaps Loyalty could have been something else.
Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Comments: 11
Kudos: 31





	Loyalty

Scattered fractals of blue, crystalline light danced across the air. The brief burst of azure casting a rare spectacle across the eternal night of Eos. 

Light. 

Such a precious resource only available now through the hum of machinery or the crackling of fire... or for a select few, at the flick of a finger- through just for a moment. 

Scarce and wondrous as the name suggested, however, the magic just wasn’t acknowledged anymore- not by the one who summoned it at least. His eyes had long since dulled to sight of luminous blue that was meant to be such a valuable commodity. He was one of only the select four that could access the Armiger- an honour granted only through familiarity with the line of Lucis... and yet it was as painfully everyday as the dirt on his boots. 

He’d pulled out a pistol from the astral pocket- working at it firmly with a just as worn, grubby cloth. he was well familiar with gun care- had rubbed down this particular model more times than he cared to think. The effort scarcely put to waste these days. Every night for the past ten years he’d cleaned out the barrel; wiped down the grip; tested the trigger- given his trusted weapon companion a good, thorough maintenance check every time he got chance to take a moment to do so, and even when he didn’t. One misfire and it could cost his life, he wasn’t going to risk that. Plus it was familiar- a sense of comfort and routine in a world gone to ruin. 

This gun had many tales to tell- the record of a thousand battles etched into its leather and steel, nearly unrecognisable from when he’d first picked it up... When had it gotten so old, he wondered, despite the bone deep weight of ten, long years of darkness pressing deep under his skin. The weariness of the decade of darkness sat deep in his bones, just as it did everyone else... But was it really so long ago the metal was unblemished? 

How long ago were the times it used to shine, a bright and blinding silver- catching light of the suns brilliant rays and sending them scattering across the land... It was both a distant dream, and familiar memory. The age of darkness at once fleeting and unending, a never-ending nightmare following the same incongruent timeflow as a dark dream. Nothing to really attach to nothing to really look forwards to, just an endless slog for survival. 

Too many times he’d sat here like this- he’d made an anxious habit of it: summoning and dismissing his weapon into and out of the void as one of very few things he still had control of in his life. But every first time he summoned it... He’d wait with baited breath- anxious hands hovering over the air as he closed his eyes, clenched his heart... and finally breathed again when he was met that relief of the azure blue. The magic was still alive- and thus, so was he. 

How many times had he dreamed of today- only to find himself sat, quiet and alone, facing the night as if nothing had changed, unable to spend more than a few hours in the company of one who he’d waited thousands of days to see again... because it was the last time he was to see him. 

So many times he’d pulled a pistol from his Armiger, terrified he’d reach for that astral pocket and feel nothing, only to have the day he finally let go of that fear be day he saw it come true. So long as the magic was alive, then so was his prince: on many a dark and lonely night, sometimes that had been the only thing to see him through until morning. The thought that he was still alive, that he’d return some day- he found out he’d finally arrived, alive and safe- only to discover he was about to be dead. 

It was a cruel, cruel trick of fate, keeping his hope alive all this time- dangling the wish of a future that could never be... Only to have it snatched away after only the briefest of moments. All this time, waiting and fighting- desperate to stand by his side once again, only to find his only purpose in life was to see him to his death. The tantalising face of what once was, what could’ve been, and the irrevocably truth just too much for him to bear. ... So, here he was- rotting away the precious time he had left with the one person for whom he’d shaped his life, because he was too much a coward to look him in face. Unspoken truths and broken would-have-beens too painful to bear. 

He should’ve known his moment of attempted respite was as transparent as glass. A part of him knew that the chance of him actually staying alone out here was next to nothing- it just wasn’t going to happen. Not with return of one who had always refused to let him suffer in silence... not without sitting, and offering his company, and suffering alongside him. 

How many times had they sat like this? The two of them sharing in companionable misery. It was the pact they’d made since the distant, alternate reality of high school: your pain is my pain, my problems are your problems- when you’re hurt, so am I- and even after a decade apart... that promise still held true. There was no asking why Noct was here- no asking why the gunman had suddenly sought out silence- this was all an oh so familiar setup after all, despite the way time seemed to distort it to make it feel as though anew. 

Prompto continued fiddling with his gun long after it could be cleaned no further, and Noctis simply said nothing- letting the time bleed them by, as if it wasn’t ticking away to a far too immediate close. In another lifetime, Noct would be sat playing video games- the blonde never quite sure if he was deliberately wasting the time it took for younger lift the lid on what was bothering him, or just passing the time completely ignorant of his friends quest for courage. It seems like he finally had an answer. A teenage prince might be too stubborn and surly to admit to the care and consideration he was giving his friend, but now the years had wiled away that grouchy armour, and the soon-to-be king made no attempt to hide his intent to comfort. Sitting by his side with no distraction- no alterior purpose or task with which to pretend- just the two of them, soaking in each other’s presence. A thousand invisible truths surrounding them, unspoken. Neither visible to the other, but vast in their size, and all longing to be granted the honour of being given voice- for now, trapped in the purgatory of deliberate ignorance. 

The Prompto as Noct knew him would’ve coughed, or cleared his throat awkwardly. He would’ve been bouncing his leg, nervous and uncomfortable with gently vulnerable atmosphere descending on them both. But, now, he sat calmly. He’d had ten years of hell to burn away the softer, weaker parts of himself: survival had very become top priority, leaving no room for luxuries like worry and doubt. He’d been forced to adapt and overcome: blasted, hammered and tempered in the furnace of a never ending war against darkness... He didn’t come this far by crying and running scared.  
“Been a while, huh.” His voice came out calm, laced with a bitterness that made the words feel foul on his tongue- not a shake, or trace of uncertainty, anywhere. He’d lived a world that’d become a waking nightmare after all- he’d been through far too much to let something like words scare him anymore. 

The soon to be king looked almost surprised by the steadiness of his voice- though he did his usual good job at hiding it. Not that it worked on him- he might be a whole new Prompto, but it was the same old Noctis. He’d read a thousand novels off that face. Noct was a teen of few words- he’d had to learn to glean his true thoughts and feelings the hard way, since he point blank refused to speak them. He couldn’t hide his surprise from him even if they spent another ten years apart. 

Noct was studying him, trying to read the struggles and stories of a thousand days on his war worn face, in an attempt to reacquaint himself with the estranged best friend that he wasn’t going to have the chance to get to know.  
“A long time?” He suggested, offhandedly. There was no real answer that could convey the yawning gap of time that had torn them apart. The chosen king looking up at the sky as he said it, a slight frown marring his brow as he did so. It’d been a long time since Prompto had done that- look at the sky. Why would he when there was nothing to see. It was just a waste of your time. He wondered if it was weird for Noct- looking up at a night sky you knew had lasted a generation, but to you felt like it should’ve been any other. 

Prompto had stopped expecting to see stars when he looked up... but Noctis hadn’t. He still carried that blissful echo of the times before the night within him. A memory of when light was plentiful and abundant, and not ravaged and coveted like desert water (though that too was becoming a commodity nowadays). He might have been aged by the crystal, and an endless amount of time adrift in infinity, with only the impending knowledge of his inevitable doom to keep him company... But, in spite of that... He still had that same spark of life, such as only one who hadn’t known the eternal night could have. He was hope. He carried that light of the past, and held it in his eyes like a living beacon- and Prompto, like a hapless flower, couldn’t help but turn to him, just as he always had... The King of Light indeed. 

The term an instant switch for bitterness and darkness. 

Yeah, the King of Light. Carrier of the torch of hope for the future... only until they expected him to throw himself onto the pyre. 

The gods had set him up to be leader, a symbol. The saviour and answer to the prayers of all those living, and enduring, in terror- only to end up no more special than a glorified pig, to be reared in luxury, and slaughtered as sacrificial lamb. 

He snorted in response. To Noct? To the gods? To the cruelty of it all? What was there to say in this situation? He had nothing kind to say about any of it, but he refused to let any of his and his treasured prince- no, king-‘s final moments be ruled by anger... There was a silence between them... Because truly, what was there to be said? 

Nothing at all... and yet so many things. 

Noctis was going to his death- he might never get to speak to him privately again... if ever there was a time for finally speaking the unspoken... this was it. It had to be now, there was no other time. 

He swallowed hard. 

Come on, he told himself, he hadn’t been afraid of words in so long- now wasn’t the time to play coward. But the words had been locked away in a crater so deep- chained and buried away with intent to never let them escape- that it was like trying to dredge up a long sunken ship, and the whole ecosystem that had grown along with it. It was hard- almost physically harrowing, to have to drag those words to his throat against everything he’d everything he’d engrained in himself to keep it buried. 

“Noct, I-...” 

The moment dangled, suspended, in the air- like the world was holding its breath along with him. Noct glanced over to hold his gaze- a glimpse of something that, for once, Prompto couldn’t recognise flashing in his eyes. Time lost itself in the silence, anticipating the words still locked in his throat. ... But they never came.

How... How could he do this? How could he admit such a delicate, heavy confession now, knowing what was coming. How could he put that on his shoulders? It was cruel- cruel both to Noct and to him- to commit those words to meaning. He couldn’t do that to him... and it hurt. It hurt so much to hold in those words, despite their stubborn stagnation in his throat, wringing his oesophagus tight. But to confess those oh so powerful truths, knowing what came next... he thought might just kill him. 

He bowed his head- the moment falling, with his gaze, defeated. He couldn’t do it... But then something- some kind of long suffered pain in his chest- refused to be held back completely. He had to say something- he had to put it forwards. He needed him to to understand how much he-. He had to offer something. It had to be heard. 

He lifted his head once more- keeping himself a vision on calm and stability, though inside he was wound tight to burst. Eyes bearing into the prince’s crystal blues, impressing on them the need to understand- pushing the true message he longing to send into them through sheer force of stare alone, in the hopes he’d see it. He had to know this. Even if he couldn’t say it- even if he couldn’t know.

Please, he thought, welding the wish right into his core. Understand me. 

“...I’m loyal to you... You know that?” He paused, hiding his true words behind false ones. Those he longed to say forced to hide behind their brothers of pale comparison, but he didn’t care. He had to know- he had to understand. He had to know what he... means to him. “I’ve always been loyal to you.” He repeated, slowly. 

He didn’t truly mean loyalty, of course, but if those words could carry any semblance of the strength of emotions crashing around within him, after being denied for too long, they would have to do. 

He couldn’t hold the contact for long, looking down once more as everything suddenly became too much- too overwhelming to handle. Conflicting feelings spiralling round in his head: needing his feelings to be known, and desperate to keep them hidden. He had no idea how that would’ve looked to Noct. He tried his best to get across something, anything and everything, hoping Noct would be able to sort through the mess and somehow come to a conclusion, despite the blond having not having the faintest clue what he wanted him to extract from it. 

He swallowed hard, like the physical motion could force down the intangible might of an emotion, and rid himself of the words that dissolved into his throat as he gave them up forever- condemning them to the eternal void of the unspoken... Or maybe he had swallowed them after all, since there was a fat, leaden weight in his stomach that stirred the same type of sickliness as those words... those tragic, forsaken words. 

He thought he knew by now, the might of the emotion. The raging power of a force too great for mortals to understand- but still it managed to smite him down for the hubris of his humanity that dared to think it could seek to deny or command it. It was all he could do to keep the emotions from violently wracking his fragile shell, and present some measure of serenity amidst the chaos. At that moment, it truly felt as though the Hexatheon was missing a deity. Such raw, overwhelming power could only be the dealings of a god or a goddess, surely? If there ever was such a being, he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to beg them for mercy or smack them for their cruelty. How could fate be so cruel as to meddle with his heart: gift him such a beautiful star- the centre of his universe, and source of his light- deny him such light for ten, agonising years of suffering... and return it to him only on the day of its death. A promise of a future- a hope of lifetime- snuffed out, and stepped on, just like that. 

“...Yeah, I know...” He almost missed the soft response, whispered into the stillness as though he was frightened of disturbing something delicate and fragile... and maybe he was. No surprise, no shock- no revelation or indication to say he understood the hidden meaning within those words. ‘I know’, he’d said... and yet it was clear that he didn’t. 

Prompto bowed his head anyway- the weight of his failure sinking down on him heavily. Loyalty: that was the best he had?! How could he have possibly understood that?! ‘I’m loyal to you’-how pathetic could he get?! He clenched his jaw. Of COURSE he hadn’t understood! He was so STUPID! How did he expect Noct to pick apart the mess of his own head, when he himself couldn’t even begin to touch it?! If the blond couldn’t even understand what he was trying to say- how on Eos could he expect Noct to?! His last chance- his last attempt at scratching the surface of the impossible confession- ruined by his own self imposed limitations. He was just going to have to suck it up. It was never meant to be spoken. Noct wasn’t long for this world now anyway- it was better this way, he tried to convince himself. 

But, then, he noticed Noct stirring again. “...and it took me far too long to understand the depth of it. Your loyalty...” 

He froze. 

Something about the phrases- something about the fondness he said it with: laced with emotion that seemed to flicker like a mirage. No way... There was no way, he denied. He couldn’t possibly-

Don’t get your hopes up, he scolded himself. Don’t you dare make a fool of yourself. 

“...Didn’t realise how much it meant to me- and you- until far too late.” He mused, melancholy. Prompto only sitting in silence, listening to him speak as though it was one of the last times he was ever going to hear him... It was as if his very heart was been assaulted with the self safe starscourge that’d taken damn near everything else in his life. It felt like the organ was rotting and dying inside him, with no amount of sunlight to save it. The once coveted hope of the crystal’s inevitable dawn promising only the executioner’s blow, set to leave only a dark, bleeding hole in his chest.

...But then, amidst the darkness... a light reached for him... Grapsing his hand... and holding onto it... warm and gentle. 

“Made too much sense really. First time we met in high school, you pretended like it was the first time. You said it took you so long to work up the nerve to say something...” He smiled, softly. Turning to look at Prompto with a meaningful look in his gaze- so warm and fond... it almost seemed like it was something more.  
“... And you thought I’d never understand.” 

Echoes of a conversation spent on a neon-lit roof, with only Noct and his anxiety for company. The doubting beast chased away by the prince’s ordinary, magic-less incantations... and suddenly he knew. 

The prince saught out his eyes once more- this time impressing his own message... but unlike his emotional best friend, the wayward prince knew exactly what he wanted to say... and Promoto’s eyes glazed over in a heartbeat- caught in awe, and shining with disbelief. He actually did it... He.. understood. 

The first of a bank of too many tears gone unshed dashed its way down his cheek, as though to take advantage of his shock to finally break free of its prison. It fell in silence.  
“I wish I could have understood it sooner.” Noct continued, Prompto bowing his head as more tears sprang free- everything just suddenly too much to handle... so then why did something whisper into his bones that it wasn’t nearly enough... 

“...And, for what it’s worth... I’m loyal to you too.” 

If he wasn’t already gone by that point, this was the point that destroyed him. He had to to keep his mouth clamped shut, windpipe forcibly thrust open, in order to deaden the lurches and keens that would’ve surely torn him asunder. The air trapped within him suddenly as molten, and thick, as lava to his raw, stinging throat, but he still managed to keep an impressively steady facade. The misery, tension and pain on his face couldn’t be disguised- but the mass destruction of his inner self, like a sledgehammer to his foundations? That part of it, he could mask. 

In another time, he’d be impressed with himself- having barely enough emotional control to keep from turning into an ugly human faucet for the majority of his life- but now... he simply couldn’t bring himself to care. Because he wasn’t doing this for the sake of dignity, or vanity... This wasn’t for himself... This was all for that scruffy, raven haired king beside him. He didn’t want Noct’s last memories of him to be sodden, sore and ugly... He wanted him to carry as little pain forwards with him to the very end as possible... So here he was- trying desperately to contain the mess that he was inside- all so his most treasured someone didn’t have to watch him fall apart. 

He didn’t realise how taxing it was- to keep up such a powerful facade when everything else was breaking down around him. He always wondered how the rulers of Lucis felt- offering their life force for the sake of a barrier that must never be broken... and he thought he might understand them now- even just a little bit. It was all he could do to sit there in silence- not daring to speak, lest it shatter the fragile peace he’d so delicately established on his glass self. 

If Noct could see his inner torment, he didn’t show it. He carried on speaking as if he wasn’t delivering words of such an earth shattering nature. 

“I just spent too long chasing after something I didn’t realise was a dream until too late... then was too guilty too see otherwise... I got so lost following a daydream- I forgot to pay attention to the world around me.” He continued, as if Prompto cared about truth, or explanation, in his present state. Maybe, in time, those words come to mean something to him- or perhaps they’d always be a hollow comfort. But he deserved to hear it, nevertheless. 

The to-be king could’ve gone over the many years he spent unravelling the misplaced affection of his youth. The starry-eyed wonder he placed at the pedestal of someone more memory than substance in his mind, until he’d been forced to face an uncomfortable truth.

Would the great oracle of Tenebrae- who lived years in the shadow and oppression of the Empire- really endure a lasting marriage with a lazy prince that still kicked up a fuss about his vegetables? Did he expect her to support his need for naps- or engage in his love for gaming? 

It was a little absurd, now, for him to think about it. That affection wasn’t built on anything more than idolisation and friendship. But, then... all along, he’d had something real- far more beautiful and genuine- and he’d took it granted. Treated it as though it was a stray, but loyal, dog, and not the light his life... one of the few things that made it worth getting up in a morning. 

“Took me a few years in the crystal to realise there’d been something real right there in front of me the whole time- and I’d never even known it was there.” He finished, looking at said light. So dulled. Battered. So bogged down with shadows. He wanted nothing more than to just chase the shadows away- knowing, in a cruel twist of irony, that, when the gods saw him do literally just that, it would have the exact opposite affect on his little, aching sun. Such a blind, stupid kid been, not to truly cherish him like he should- only see the true value of what he meant to him- when it was too late. 

He waited, patiently. Giving Prompto as long as he needed to process this revelation. Gods, he couldn’t even imagine what this was like for him. He’d probably been nursing the seeds of a now full grown affection since he was twelve years old (if he was right about Prompto’s sudden change between their first and ‘official first’ meetings somehow being related to him- kids that age just didn’t have that level of dedicate if not for some higher motivational power). He tried not to think about it in relation to the coming dawn, but how couldn’t he? That was literally all he saw when he looked forwards. He couldn’t see beyond that when he simply wouldn’t exist... Gods, this all had to be so much for him... He wished he could spare him from it. 

A part of him wondered if he should’ve even brought this up, but, then, it seemed Prompto was just as desperate for his truth to be heard as he was. They just... couldn’t quite look at it too hard. So long as they didn’t face it- or make it too real. As long as they didn’t speak it... Those three, little words... So long as it was present, but invisible between them...they could be okay... Just so long as they never spoke it. 

He watched as Prompto raised his head up to the stars- skies, he corrected himself (there were no stars anymore- not besides the one next to him). Eyes closed, as a glimpse of a gargantuan effort to keep his emotions at bay briefly flickered across his face.  
“How long?” He whispered- seemingly taking all of his willpower to do so. Dancing around the subject like a flame in a breeze. 

Noct took a breath, seeing a opportunity. If this was his only chance to say everything- to explain what he needed to be said- everything he could say in testimony of this moment... He was going to take it for everything it had. 

“I think in some ways it’s always been loyalty... I knew it, in the back of my mind- kind of- but it was so, so, long before I realised the true depth of it.” He told him- not giving him the opportunity to reply. This was his chance. This was his offering- his proof- his apology- his hope- his capsule of a memory for when things get down. His piece of him to go forwards, and give him some semblance of comfort in the future. This was his chance to finally do right by him. What he owed- and what Prompto deserved. He was foolish for never realising it sooner- the least he could offer him... was this... 

“I’m sorry I didn’t do right by your loyalty- I never paid enough attention to it. I never let you know how... grateful I was for it... But, I always valued your loyalty. Even when it didn’t seem like it, it was always there- pushing me on-” He told him- passionate- insistent- hoping upon hope that everything he wished to tell could be conveyed. 

He broke off, as he saw a brief flash of a pained smile dash across the sullen star’s face  
“Yeah... loyaltyll do that for you...” He told him, with a snicker that sounded like a sob- and if he hadn’t been laughing, he’s pretty sure he’d be crying. “Loyalty’s all that’s kept me going these past years.” He told him, eyes sliding over to meet his. Warm, tragic, swimming with pain... but a sad kind of acceptance burned into them, that said if he pushed it any more... he really might just burst into tears. 

Noctis closed his mouth, and tried to gift him a small, shallow comfort of a smile, as he let the star’s personal, little gravity draw him just a little closer to his side. 

He got the message. 

It would be selfish to go on any further... and he was happy with what he’d said. There there could’ve been more, but then there could always be more... It would’ve never been enough... They’d just have to make peace with it.

For now, they just sat and basked in each other’s presence. A quiet agreement- like the contract of silence banning the three simple words- passing between them, as they took a moment to just... pretend. Imagine they’d spoken those words- bathe in the feelings they represent... Never allowing for them to speak (never spoken), but in the small moment of a generous silence- a piece of the universe temporarily carved out just for them... even if it was only an illusion of pretence... they could allow the near-tangible to breath... savour the non-confessions, and the never-emotions. Content bred from discontentment, and a warmth that was bloomed in the cold. 

A sun and the light, in a sky without stars, taking a break from their mourning (there could be plenty of that later) for a moment of appreciation. Of holding onto each other- stealing the closest they could get to joy from jaws of infinity, with deliberate avoidance of what lay ahead. It was nice, and it was painful. It was temporary, but, for that moment... it was theirs. 

A soft voice whispered by in the silence.  
“In another lifetime... perhaps loyalty could’ve been something more.” They muttered, lost to moment of would-have-beens and voiceless words. The other shifted beside them, seeking a closer comfort that they dare not cross any further. And for once, they actually meant loyalty.  
“...I guess loyalty will have to enough.” 

And as they sat there, processing all that could ever be, all that ever was... there was an odd semblance of peace which fell upon them. Short as the future of them was, it wasn’t really worth looking on... but looking back? They saw a path of many happy times together... smiles, and joys, and laughters. Warmth- and a radiant light that could endure a thousand days of shadow. 

Perhaps, it could’ve been more, but for this one moment, sat facing the upcoming oblivion... He could be only glad of the times they’d spent together. He wouldn’t change them for anything- those times...

“Perhaps it always was.”

**Author's Note:**

> Another sad one this time- hope you had the tissues ready TwT 
> 
> Lets face it, this was the plot we could’ve had if the creators weren’t too coward to put it in- the signs were all there and this was partly my excuse to weigh in my evidence on that- Prom had a crush on Noct, Noct didn’t really love Luna (not that way at least)- change my mind XD 
> 
> anyways I’m hoping to write a much smaller, much nicer little thing next time- we’ll see what actually ends up happening XD


End file.
